Seriously. Why don't I have a TV show.

Normally, any story involving an ambulance is probably not something I would laugh about. That said, here's my night.

I'm sitting in my room, not doing much of anything. My roommate Luke walks in, piss-drunk, which doesn't really surprise me. He's hungry, but neither of us has any money, so I go out to the ATM to avoid anything involving paying my roommate's bail. When I get within sight of my dorm, there's three amblances, a fire truck, and public safety. They're actually turning people away from the door (the door to my freaking dorm. God.), so I do what any law-abiding citizen does. I snuck in the back door. Nothing's going on, so I just go back to my room. Luke isn't there, so I'm like "Shit, this really can't end well." CHRIST, was I wrong. I look outside, and Luke is wandering aimlessly, with no shoes or shirt on, taking periodic sips from a bottle of mouthwash, still drunk off his ass, giving a statement to public safety. For something he wasn't even there for! Apparently, some kid passed out drunk (while my roommate was sitting in our room), and Luke went over to investigate and started talking to the cops. He actually wrote out a freaking WITNESS STATEMENT for PUBLIC SAFETY, which incidentally has now cemented its position as the most useless organization in the history of ever. I don't know how funny this is to you all, but it's pretty much going in my highlight reel of awesomeness and wow.:P

Just freaking picture it.:P